A Great Day

October 2nd is a great day. Why? Because a year ago today, we "met" our snowflake babies for the first time. They were thawed and then transferred into my womb where they grew into the little people God intended for them to be. It is still so amazing every time I think about it. Elaina is lounging on my lap right now as I type. What a sweet gift to our family. We continue to have a growing relationship through email contact with the genetic family and hopefully someday we will meet them.

Two embryos transferred a year ago, two babies now living and thriving!!!

I wonder who is who in this picture:-)

On this special anniversary, I write what will most likely be my last blog entry. I feel like we are just a normal family now, growing, and learning together. Our journey through foster care and adoption, and then embryo adoption was something I wanted to share with others, to open people's hearts and minds to the idea and to share the amazing ways the Lord was working in our family. I also hope that through sharing our journey through infertility, we were an encouragement to others experiencing the same types of sorrows and struggles.

So, goodbye blogging world. It's been fun....now onto the crazy life of raising two sets of twins!

My little snowflakes

The adoption agency we worked with to do our embryo adoption is called Nightlight Christian Adoptions, and their embryo adoption division is called Snowflakes because embryos are a lot like snowflakes...frozen, tiny, and each completely unique. They sent us these onesies as a memento. Joel and Elaina are snowflake babies #420 and 421. Pretty amazing!

On another random happy note, my big Joel boy slept through the night last night from 10-6!!! I know this probably won't happen every night from now on, but I am encouraged. Katie and Addie NEVER slept that long until we finally did some sleep training around 10 months:-)

3 months old: I am so grateful!

My babies are 3 months old today! They are interacting with us, cooing, smiling, and laughing. It's a fun stage because they don't move yet...I can set them down and they will still be there when I come back. I know that won't last much longer:-) They are settling into more of a routine now, and usually able to go down for naps awake and fall asleep with very little fussing or crying. What a blessing to have such happy and contented babes.

a quarter of a year old already and yes, Joel IS that much bigger, 

it's not just the angle of the camera

Yesterday I found myself marveling at my four kiddos. They are all a miracle and if you saw my Facebook post you know that I was feeling that way. So very grateful and thankful for my family, even on the rough days (and we had one this week). Here is a recent shot of all four kids. I can't seem to take a picture of all four without it looking like the leaning tower of children. Oh well.

The ongoing oxygen drama (and answered prayers!)

So, in my last post I didn't mention anything about the babies continued use of oxygen at night because I was hopeful that I would soon be able to report that they got the okay to come off completely.

Well, it turns out that both babies will be on oxygen only at night for at least 2 more months. It has been a frustrating journey but I feel like we've finally gotten some understanding into why this is actually necessary. For a long time it seemed like our pediatrician was just being hypervigilant and over treating our children. I am of the mindset that if my children seem healthy, then they most likely are and I don't want any interventions unless absolutely necessary.

Both Joel and Elaina have successfully passed their overnight oxygen test which is usually all that needs to happen to get the order to stop oxygen. However, our pediatrician was still concerned about some dips she saw in their oxygen levels a few times at night. So, she ordered a sleep study to be done for Elaina. We had that done on July 23rd. I took her up to Children's hospital in Denver that evening and she was hooked up to about 30 different wires. Is was a horrible experience for her. She usually sleeps like a champ at night, waking once to feed but sleeping well the rest of the night. Well, the night of the sleep study she woke up screaming every 20 minutes, she was stiff and uncomfortable, had a terrible time trying to nurse because she had this rhino horn type thing sticking down from her nose over her mouth, and then in the morning when all the wires were removed she had a big goose egg and circular red mark on her forehead where one of the electrodes was jabbing into her skull all night. I left the sleep study praying that we would never have to return.

the happy girl completely oblivious to what is about to happen

this was the end result, she was so miserable and who could blame her!

About a week later we received the results of the sleep study. The recommendation was for a pulmonary evaluation by a pediatric pulmonologist. From my knowledge of medicine as a registered nurse, the results honestly didn't seem that concerning, but my pediatrician still wanted us to see a specialist because as she said, "I am jack of all trades and not an expert in anything". She didn't know how to read the data from the sleep study and was unable to answer our detailed questions. I set up an appointment with the specialist hoping and praying that we would see a doctor who would be able to see the truth, and if my babies are fine and healthy then we would stop needing to see doctors and we wouldn't have to have a second sleep study done.

Yesterday was the appointment with the specialist. God answered my prayers in a very clear way! We saw a doctor who was very down to earth and who looked at all the information and asked us a lot of questions about what we as the parents notice about Elaina's sleep and breathing patterns. He also explained the results of the sleep study. In the end, he told us that he is the type of doctor who tends to be on the side of less interventions. He said that both Joel and Elaina are having episodes of periodic breathing  which is quite normal for babies in high altitude, and that oxygen at night is the best and only thing they can really do until they get a bit older and outgrow this issue. He explained that most likely without oxygen they would both be fine but it is better to be safe than sorry because if one of them would die of SIDS without oxygen we would always wonder if we could have prevented it simply by putting oxygen on. After his explanation, it made so much more sense to me why they should still be on oxygen. The best part of the appointment was that he agreed we do not need to do another sleep study, hallelujah! He wants to see the babies again in 2 months and indicated that if they are doing well and thriving at that time, most likely he would be okay stopping oxygen.

I left that appointment feeling like a weight had been lifted and felt like God had answered my prayers in a very clear way by allowing us to see the doctor that we did. Hopefully in 2 months I will be able to report that both babies are oxygen free at last! In all of this though, I am extremely grateful that this is the only health issue we are facing. There are lots of parents out there facing so much worse with their kiddos.

Pictures are easier these days!

Life is busy. Laundry has doubled since adding these babies and I'm starting cloth diapers this week so it's gonna triple! There is always something that needs to be done, so needless to say, blogging isn't a top priority. But, I do enjoy recording some of the highlights of our lives. Pictures are quicker and easier than typing a lot so here you go.

We took our first road trip as a family of 6 to my sister's house in Iowa. Here is Elaina with one of her cousins (he's also a twin:-)

The older girls had a blast sleeping in their oldest cousins room. She pretty much handled their bed time for us while we were there. It was so nice to have so many helping hands.

First trip to the beach (in Iowa). Looks like they are pretty comfortable.

Grandma and Papa (Shaun's parents) met the new babies for the first time in late July. Here is Grandma with all four kiddos

A smile caught on camera

Katie really loves her baby brother. She wants to help all the time with whatever we will let her do.

This shot is from today. Elaina is now 9 lbs 12 oz.

This is also from today. Joel has surpassed Elaina by quite a bit now. He weighs in at 11 lb 4 oz

oxygen

I have a moment....both older girls are playing nicely together, dinner is in the crockpot, babies are sleeping....so I thought I'd send an update across the internet waves for anyone who cares.

We are six and a half weeks into having 4 kids and it's going well. I would be so much more overwhelmed if my mom didn't live above us. She helps each and every day with all the kids whenever I need it. My biggest frustration right now is oxygen.

Both babies are still on their oxygen. They have both passed their car seat test but failed their overnight test. So, we have to wait until next week to redo that test for both of them. The doctor has given us the green light to take off Elaina's during the day when she is awake because she basically passed her overnight with the exception of one 45 minute span where her levels dropped low and stayed low. It has been nice to be free of the tubes during the day at least, but I can't wait for both babies to be completely off of oxygen! I remind myself often that I need to be thankful that they don't have any serious health problems. It could be so much worse and I realize there are parents out there dealing with problems way bigger than this.

3 weeks

Katie loves her baby sister and brother

one month (and last day in preemie clothes!)

Sleeping beauties

Mommy was away so Katie got to help feed Joel

Addie "breastfeeding" her twins (she came up with this on her own:-)

Nothing was as I'd hoped

As I reflect on the past month (crazy that on Sunday that babies will be a month old!) I realize that nothing about the birth of Joel and Elaina was as I'd hoped. I knew having twins made it much less likely that a natural birth experience would be possible, but I also never imagined it going the way that it did.

My water broke early which was totally unexpected. My doctor had even thought I'd for sure carry to term based on how things were looking. Both babies had to spend days, even weeks, in the NICU. Instead of being able to hold them right after birth and breastfeed right away, they were taken to the NICU where they were given donor breast milk with a bottle, and even eventually some formula. I was told I should not breastfeed more than once or twice a day because the babies needed to reserve their strength, so I ended up hooked to a pump for hours a day. I didn't even own a pump because I thought I'd be able to exclusively breastfeed, so we ended up renting one from the hospital.

Breastfeeding was very challenging because of the NICU environment: no privacy, babies hooked up to multiple tubes/wires, my inexperience causing awkward clumsiness, and various nurses/lactation consultants giving me conflicting information. And last but not least, both babies coming home on oxygen which has really limited what we are able to do. They are both attached to a 25 foot tube which gives me about 50 feet of mobility with them during the day. It has caused much frustration and even some tears on my part because I don't want to miss out on summer fun with the older girls because of these darn oxygen tubes!

But, even with all of those unexpected difficulties, we are doing well. I am so thrilled to report that we have gotten to the place where both babies are exclusively tandem breastfeeding. No more pumping/bottles unless necessary because we are going out somewhere! Can I get an AMEN! After the past few weeks I have so much respect for women who choose to pump because for whatever reason they are unable to breastfeed. I can't imagine doing that for months or even a year like some women do. It is a sacrifice and commitment that is really remarkable.

Both babies are also gaining weight really well. Last week Elaina was 5 lb 15 oz and Joel was 5 lb 5 oz. They are both growing out of their preemie clothes and moving onto newborn one outfit at a time. We are so thankful to have good little eaters because with Katie and Addie it was always a struggle to get them to drink their bottles. We don't have that problem with these two. I have a feeling they will be little chunkers before we know it.

So, things may not have gone my way, but God is still good. He has been with us each tiring day and night, and we are so thankful for these two sweet souls who have been added to our family.

Here are a few fun pictures to leave you with....

 Addie and Elaina getting to know eachother on her first day home

 So tiny and sweet

Showing off their blankets made by Oma