Life never quite works out how you envision it. Today a good friend of mine is having a baby. I desired an October baby, so sharing in their joy as they welcome their daughter is bitter sweet. I've always known and believed that ALL life is a gift from God, so even though it isn't me having the baby, I'm happy for my friends and family around me who are blessed with the gift of life. Some days it is difficult to feel happy, but I'm learning daily that happiness is not the same thing as joy, and joy is not based on circumstances. There are so many couples who struggle daily with infertility, and now I am able to better understand the pain and frustration that accompanies the struggle. Now, even if I am blessed with a biological child, I will be able to be more empathetic and understanding of women who may never have that gift.
As Shaun and I wrestle with what our future holds in regard to our family, we do not feel as though we've been given any concrete answers. God hasn't spoken clearly to us about what direction we should go at this point. We are learning to trust Him. In the process, we are also learning more about different options like adoption and foster care. We know that having our own biological children is not out of the picture because there doesn't seem to be a medical reason behind our infertility, but we also want to be open to welcoming another child into our home if that is the Lord's will for us. It seems like the idea of foster care is coming to our attention often lately, and the idea is appealing for several reasons. One of the biggest road blocks for us in regard to regular adoption would be the cost. Foster care does not cost anything and can lead to adoption if the circumstances are right. Foster care would allow us to provide love and support for a child who needs a home for a certain period of time. God commands us to care for the orphans and widows. Foster care would allow us to do that within our means. At the same time, it is not without it's risks. I know it would be difficult for me to welcome a baby or toddler into my home, only to have the child taken from me again to go live with his/her biological parents. Although attachment is a good thing, it is also a painful thing.
At this point we are not taking any further steps toward foster care or adoption, but are just continuing to seek the Lord and His will for our lives. We just wanted to share a little bit of our hearts with you today so that you can know better where we are in this whole process and how you can pray for us. In the coming months, if we are not blessed with a pregnancy, we will probably move forward with the beginning steps of building our family through foster care or adoption.
No comments:
Post a Comment