27

Today I turn 27 years old. I was reflecting this morning about how things aren't exactly how I expected them to be on this day to mark my 27th year. Two years ago we started trying to have a baby. I thought I'd have a one year old child by now. However, month after month the disappointment came, month after month I asked God why not me when so many of my friends were having babies?
In my heart I already knew the answer to that question. I've always felt that if God didn't see fit to give us biological children it would be okay because we would adopt. Adoption has always been something I've wanted to do, so maybe God would form our family through that means. However, I wasn't prepared for the pain that infertility brought.
Sometimes the journey we end up on is not one we would ever choose, but it is a journey that is necessary and filled with sweet blessings in the midst of the pain. Our sweet twin girls are one of those blessings. If you would have told me 2 years ago that we were going to do foster care and that we would come to love these two blond twin girls like our own even before they were officially ours, I would not have believed you.
I often think about the fact that if I had become pregnant on our timetable I would have missed out on knowing and loving these girls and the 3 sweet boys that we cared for before them. God knows what He is doing and this journey is teaching me to trust in His plans more than my own. There is still pain involved in the journey but with God's grace I choose daily to focus on the blessings more than the pain.