The Gift of Infertility

Our neighbors have friends who are really struggling with infertility. They have asked us if we would be willing to come over for dinner next week to meet this young couple and talk with them about our journey to hopefully provide some encouragement during this tough time. Shaun and I are privileged to be able to meet them, and although each person's journey is different, we have been through what they are going through, and can empathize and hopefully also bring hope to their weary souls.

As I've thought about what we might say to this couple, I began to reflect on all the ways the Lord has used this five year journey through infertility for His glory and to also be a help to others on the same path. I am humbled that even in many small ways we have been given the opportunity to speak about how God has performed great things in our lives through our brokenness.

First on the list is the opportunity we had to love and care for four boys in foster care for days or weeks when they most needed a safe and loving home. Our philosophy as foster parents was to hold nothing back from those kids, to love them with our whole hearts for as long as they were with us, and to deal with the pain of loss when it came, but not before then. We weren't always successful in doing that, but we did love those kids and would have kept any of them if given the chance. Now, I have the privilege of praying for them whenever they come to my mind.

One thing I have discovered about the world of infertility is that everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to talking about their struggles. I have been very open about my personal journey and because of that, other women who aren't as open and who have no one to talk to about it, have confided in me about their deepest pain and fears. It is a beautiful thing when the Lord brings together two people who have the same struggles to help and encourage one another. Meeting and speaking with other women on a similar journey to my own is one of the greatest blessings of infertility to me.

This past Sunday I was asked to share briefly in church for Sanctity of Human Life Sunday about our journey through embryo adoption. Whenever I've been asked to share about this part of my story I always accept because I feel like it's the witness that Christ has given me about His goodness and faithfulness to us. I never want to let an opportunity pass to get the word out about adoption, foster care, embryo adoption, or infertility because all of those things can be so misunderstood. Last year I spoke at my MOPS group and now at church. It's always neat to see people's reactions to what the Lord has done and is doing through our family.

And last but not least, I have the unique story of adopting twins through foster care and now twins through embryo adoption! I wouldn't trade these four precious lives for my own biological children. When we began trying to have kids, God knew where He would lead us. He knew the pain and heartache we would experience when month after month we weren't pregnant, but He also knew the joy and blessings that were coming our way. I often think about that when I read blogs by women who are still in the thick of the pain and disappointment that a negative pregnancy test brings, or a failed embryo transfer, or a long wait on an adoption placement list. It can be so hard, but I truly believe that the Lord will bring good things to those women in His perfect timing.

I hope these examples do not come across as tooting my own horn in any way. I simply wanted to give God the glory for all He has done in my life over these years that at times felt so dark and hopeless. Now I can see the light and am just so thankful for His goodness and love.