As I was cleaning the kitchen after our usual Saturday breakfast of pancakes and eggs I found myself thinking about the positives and negatives of sharing this journey with you through this blog. For sure one of the big negatives is the fact that I am only 6 weeks 5 days pregnant. Most women aren't even sharing their pregnancy news by this time because early miscarriages seem to be so common. I am very aware of the fact that I am very early in my pregnancy and anything could happen. I don't live in fear of miscarriage at all, but I am not naive. I have known too many women who have experienced the tragedy of early miscarriage and have read many stories of embryo adoption that have started out with good blood results only to find out their baby wasn't growing at a healthy rate soon thereafter.
Sharing this journey means I am opening myself up to having lots of people I know and even some I don't know completely aware of our loss if a loss were to happen. That would make it very hard to face people because I would have a hard time knowing how to handle their sadness for me. On the other hand, if all goes well and our baby continues to grow healthy and strong, we have the blessing of sharing our joy with so many. This baby is a miracle and it is my hope that learning about embryo adoption will lead people to share about it with people they know who might want to consider this option as a wonderful solution to infertility. Educating people is really the main reason we decided to be so open about everything we are going through. There are so many frozen babies needing to find a family!
People have been asking me a lot how I am feeling. The best way to sum it up is that I walk around feeling mildly car sick most of the time and I am more tired. I will lay my head on my pillow during the girls' quiet time each afternoon and I actually fall asleep! I have always had a hard time actually taking naps but that is not a problem anymore. Shaun and I are getting in the habit of heading to bed before 9 PM every night. He gets up before 5 AM for his bus driving route and I am just tired!
We have our first appointment with our midwife next week Wednesday. It is just a consultation to ask her any questions we have and to make sure we are both comfortable with having her as my midwife. Then I will hopefully get my first ultrasound scheduled for the following week. I need to get an ultrasound around 8-9 weeks so I can send a copy to the fertility clinic in Michigan.
We got our first note from the genetic family the other day once they received the news that I am pregnant. They said they are very happy for us and would enjoy hearing updates throughout the pregnancy as we find out more. It's good to know they have positive feelings about this pregnancy although I can imagine it's also difficult to some degree.
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