Waiting on God's Timing

Last night we completed the 6th of 8 classes we are required to take before we can be licensed as foster parents. All in all, the classes have been very informative and enjoyable. We've met some new people and have been exposed to a whole new world of information and ideas that were foreign to us 3 months ago.

Thursday we begin the home study process. Shaun and I will each have individual interviews and then soon after that we will have an interview together. Then, they'll come into our home to make sure everything is up to foster care standards. We don't really know what to expect over the next couple of weeks, but we have been told that the questions can seem very invasive. We know that it's all for a purpose because they are trying to gain understanding into who we are and what children would be the best fit for us.

Last night we were told that just yesterday they had a 2 week old baby girl that they couldn't find a placement for! That is how difficult it has been lately to place kids. Good foster parents are needed. I found myself wishing we were licensed right now so we could have taken that baby girl. My heart yearns to care of a little baby and I had to remind myself to be patient and wait on God's timing. We won't be able to take a placement until July, and that seems like a long time from now. I often think to myself, "What if we miss out on the child that is perfect for us." However, I know that God has laid out our circumstances as they are, and when the time is right, He will bring the children to us that are meant to be in our home.

Part of me is very afraid of what lies ahead. Foster care has the potential of breaking my heart over and over again and I wonder if I'll be able to stand it. I don't know if I'll be able to welcome a child into our home, fall in love and form a strong attachment, only to watch the child go back to his or her biological family in the end. As much as it is sometimes tempting to say, "I can't do this", God has led us to foster care and I need to place my trust in His plan for our lives. He'll equip us for whatever lies ahead and all we can do is take one day at a time.

Worry and Rest

One year ago I was filled with hopes of having a baby. What seems so easy for most has been very difficult for us. It's been a year of whirlwind emotions, crushed dreams, many tears, and lots of prayer. Now we can even technically say that we have infertility since the definition of infertility is trying to conceive for 12 months with no pregnancy achievement.

Through it all, I know God has been molding us and making us into who He ultimately wants us to become. I have struggled to keep my hope alive and to find my true peace and rest in Him alone. Just this morning I was reading an article entitled, "Thinking Biblically About Worry". It proved to be a very timely article for my heart. I want to share a few nuggets of wisdom from this article that I plan on meditating on and praying over through the course of the next days. I think God is speaking very clearly to me right now and challenging me in some of my worries and constant struggles.

"Worry and rest always reveals the true treasures of your heart. You will rest the most when what you treasure the most is secure, and you will worry the most when what you treasure the most is at risk. What does your world of worry reveal about the true treasures of your heart?
Wow, that statement blew me away! For me, the answer is this....my world of worry for the past 12 months has been focused on whether God is going to bless us with children. My heart's treasure has rested on my great desire for children, rather than on His kingdom alone.

"Your life is always shaped by what you tell yourself you need. If need means "essential for life" to call something a need is a significant heart commitment. If you are convinced that something is a need, then it seems right to expect that you will have it and it seems natural to worry that you may not get it. Perhaps one of the sloppiest words used by human beings is the word need. The vast majority of the things we call needs are not needs. And Jesus would argue that the things that are true needs our heavenly Father will graciously provide."
Again, a dagger to my heart (a much needed dagger!). I realized as I read these words that I have convinced myself that my "need" for children is so great that I can never feel fulfilled and happy without it. However, I have misplaced my treasures. My greatest treasure has not been for my heavenly Father, but rather for a certain set of circumstances that I think I need to be happy.

"I am deeply persuaded that real, lasting personal rest of heart is never to be found in ease of circumstances. Even in the best of situations in this fallen world your heart will be able to find reasons for worry. Inner rest of soul and lasting peace of heart are only ever found when Jesus and His kingdom are your highest and deepest treasures. When you place your identity in His never-changing hands, when you find your meaning and purpose in the unstoppable work of His kingdom, and when you place your inner sense of well-being on the sure foundation of His promise to meet your every need, you will be able to rest even when the situations and relationships around you are broken."
I feel so far from this, but it is my deepest prayer and longing. I don't want to live in the place I've been for a year. I desire to find inner rest of soul and lasting peace of heart. May God mold me now into a woman who can rest in His hands.

For me, the struggle has been infertility, but I know that worry pervades all of our lives at one time or another because we are sinners in need of God's mercy and grace. I hope these words have been a comfort and encouragement to you, wherever you are in life's journey.


Excerpts taken from an article in "Tabletalk" magazine, January 2010 issue, written by Dr. Paul David Tripp

Filled With Appreciation

Since the primary purpose of this blog is to keep our friends and donors updated about our ministry with Eagle Lake, we wanted to use this post to express our appreciation for continued support in various ways.

In Mid-November we sent out a year-end letter asking people to pray about giving (maybe for the first time, and maybe just an extra gift) before the end of December to launch us into another year of ministry. God blessed that effort immensely and our hearts are filled with gratitude to all of you who responded to that letter and sacrificially gave of your resources to better equip us. November and December ended up being our largest giving months of the year! Praise God!!!

We are also grateful for all of the friends and family we were able to see over the last half of December. We were pleasantly surprised when 15 people showed up at Larae's parent's home for our appreciation open house. We enjoyed the time to visit with friends we hadn't seen in at least a year and we were able to give an update on our ministry. A few people contacted us about visiting over a meal, and we were blessed by those interactions. One of those evening with friends even ended in the mini-van that you can read about in my previous post :-)

Another highlight of our time in Illinois was the marriage of one of Larae's best friends, Kristin. Kristin was the last of my college girlfriends to get hitched and I had the honor of serving her as her personal attendant. I am incredibly grateful for Kristin's friendship, which we've maintained even though we no longer live close. It was a very fun day and even though we live 16 hours apart, I hope she and her new husband Jonathan will start making a habit of visiting Colorado. (Kristin, if you are reading this, that's a strong hint!)

Last but not least, we were blessed by time with family. Christmas eve and day were spent with Shaun's family, but we had many days before that to stay with Larae's parents and also visit her sister's family in Kansas. It's always fun to play with our nieces and nephews! During that visit, Shaun was dragged outside several times to jump on the trampoline even though it was below freezing outside.....not that he minds:-) He's a hit with the 4 year old twin boys.

GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS!

I know that God answers prayers, but when something happens that is so clearly an answer to prayer, it is SO exciting! Here's the story....

About a year and a half ago, Shaun and I made the decision to trust God with a major part of our finances. We decided to no longer save toward a vehicle that we knew we would be needing in the future, but to instead, trust that the Lord would provide a vehicle at no cost to us. This decision enabled us to give more each month to a couple of organizations that further the cause of Christ around the world.

So, we've continued to pray that when the time came that we needed a different vehicle (I was still driving the car that my parents gave me in college, a 2000 Kia Spectra) one would be given to us. We had no idea how this would happen, but we've heard too many stories from other people of God providing in big ways to not have faith that He could do it this time.

Now that we have decided to become foster parents, and we have a dog, we realized the time was coming to get a bigger vehicle, preferrably a mini-van because we take long trips and a mini-van seemed like the most practical vehicle for our needs. We started to share our need with family and friends as opportunities presented themselves.

On December 23rd we were having dinner with some friends in Illinois, and I decided it wouldn't hurt to bring up our vehicle need to them, just in case they knew of someone who had a mini-van available. Next thing we knew, our friend Jim was on the phone with his sister asking her about 2 vans she has that she was thinking of selling soon. After he got off the phone he told us that his sister might consider trading our Kia for one of her Dodge Caravan mini-vans! We felt as though this could be the way that God was answering our prayers, so we told him go ahead and see if his sister would seriously consider trading. He said he'd call her back and he'd get back to us in the next couple of days. We were leaving for Colorado on December 26th, so if this was going to happen it would have to happen quick!

Christmas morning we received a call from Jim saying that his sister would be willing to trade us for one of her vans. That night we drove to her house to check out the vans and next thing you know we were driving away in a mini-van! I have affectionately named our "new" van THE PURPLE PEOPLE EATER because it's a maroonish-purple color.

It is exciting to see God answer prayers is such clear ways. We are getting more and more excited to welcome a child into our home and drive him/her around in a spacious van :-) I know most people don't think mini-vans are cool, but we consider it a great blessing to receive this gift.

Here's to the Holidays

Shaun and I really enjoy the holidays because it is a time to see our family. We don't live nearby any of our family, so it really is a special treat when we get to see our parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews.

Thanksgiving in Texas with my brother and sister-in-law was great fun. I have an active family so we spent our time taking walks, playing disc golf, and riding bikes.....when we weren't filling our bellies of course!

Here is a family picture from Thanksgiving Day.

Tomorrow we leave for a 2 1/2 week trip back to IL. We are stopping in KS for a couple of days to visit my sister's family and to speak at a church that supports us. Then on to IL for a friend's wedding, family time, and of course Christmas! On Dec. 13th we are hosting an open house for anyone who wants to come. Here is the invitation we sent out to those of you who may not have received it. If you don't live near Elmhurst, it could be difficult to make it, but know that we greatly appreciate all of your prayers and support over the past year!  Merry Christmas!



It's Official

On October 14th, I blogged about our struggle with conceiving a child and how that had led us to consider adoption and foster care in the future if God continues to close my womb. Well, we have officially made the decision to become licensed foster parents! God has taken us on this journey over the past couple of months and our desire to be foster parents has continued to grow.

The journey started when our friends Jeremy and Melissa visited us from Illinois. They are foster parents to 3 kids (one of whom is in the process of becoming theirs officially through adoption) and have 2 biological children. They talked to us about what foster care entails and what a blessing it has been to them. It was like a light bulb went off in our heads that day because we had never really considered foster care before. We found out from our friends that foster care can be a really great experience and it also can be a great way to adopt a child if you can't afford to adopt through an adoption agency.

After Jeremy and Melissa went back home, Shaun continued to bring up the possibility of doing foster care. That was a huge sign to me that God just might be leading us in that direction because Shaun had NEVER shown much passion or interest about regular adoption. Then, a couple of days later I was listening to the radio and heard a story about a woman who had been diagnosed as infertile by her doctors and now was going the route of foster care to hopefully welcome a forever child into their home whenever God brought the right one.

Our hearts were being moved! Shaun asked me if I'd be willing to do some research about foster care, so I did. I also spoke with a friend who has worked in the foster care system before. I found a Christian foster care agency online that immediately struck me as the agency we should use. I showed some video clips to Shaun about families who had been blessed by foster care. We both agreed that it seemed like a great agency that seems to truly care about everyone involved. We also kept thinking about how God has called us to care for orphans. James 1:27 kept ringing through my mind as a call to all Christians:

James 1:27, “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God and Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

We continued to pray because it seemed like a big step to become foster parents. We wanted a clear answer from the Lord that this was what He wanted for our family. One Sunday, we were sitting in our Sunday school class and a scripture verse popped up on the screen:

Galatians 4:4-7, “But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth his Son, born of a women, born under the Law, so that he might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘ABBA, Father!’ Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.”

When we got back in the car that day after church, we both commented about how that scripture verse spoke to our hearts individually. We both knew that Galatians 4 was an answer to prayer, so the next day we called the foster care agency to set up an appointment.

We are excited to see what God does in our lives as a result of foster care. We hope that we will have the privilege of adopting a child eventually but also realize that many of the children we will have in our home will only stay for a short time before returning to their biological parents. It will be difficult for me to bond with these kids and then lose them, but we know this is what God is calling us to and we look forward to showing these little ones the love of Christ.

It is about a 3-4 month process to become licensed and we begin our first classes on Dec. 7th. After that it will be 2 months of classes, a home study, and background checks before we can receive a child into our home. Stay posted for more updates.

November Eagle Lake Happenings

This month, Shaun has been hard at work on the staff housing project. He travels up to camp 3 days a week to help build. It's hard work and he usually comes home wiped each night! Check out the video below that shows the progress.

When Shaun is not up at camp helping build staff housing, he has spent much of his time over the past month working on the Excursions Bible Study for the upcoming summer. Bible Study creation is not something that is easy, so it's been a time consuming process, but it's coming along very well. We are excited about what God is going to do through His Word this summer.

Larae continues to help out in the office 3 days a week. She has been given the task of calling youth pastors in the Colorado Springs area to see if they would be intersted in learning more about what Eagle Lake could offer their churches and youth groups. It's actually been very encouraging to see how many youth pastors are interested in meeting with one of our directors personally to talk about Eagle Lake!

It's hard to believe that we will be starting our summer staff hiring in a little over a month from now! The fall has flown by and we know that once January hits, things are going to get even more busy and hectic. But, it's an exciting time because we get to see our prayers answered as the staff housing project progresses. We just continue to pray that it will be liveable by the time we all move up to camp for the summer.