Beginning the process

In continuation of my last post, I want to summarize how the process of embryo adoption has looked for us up to this point. First, we spent time praying about the direction the Lord wanted us to go because we did desire to grow our family with at least one more child. Our hopes of a biological child, after 4 1/2 years of infertility, are pretty much gone. We know if it is God's will for our family then it will happen someday, but I am starting to believe more and more that we were given a heart for babies who are already in existence for a reason. Maybe we are meant to love and raise children who the Lord has already created and given a soul, rather than create our own little ones. If that is the case, we joyfully accept the call, although the journey to get to this place has been difficult, sad, and full of grief. Our first two children, adopted through foster care, are proof that genetics has nothing to do with the love we have for our kids and we honestly wouldn't change our story even if we had the chance to do so.

Anyway, we started learning more about embryo adoption through the adoption agency that started it all back in 1997. If you are at all interested in learning more, check out their website at http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakes-embryo-donation-adoption/

We were really struck by a few things, first being the fact that these are babies whom God has given life to. They are already on earth and simply need to be given a chance at life. Second, there are over 500,000 frozen embryos in this country alone! And third, I would be able carry a child, providing the safe, healthy environment I so strongly believe in, through 9 months of pregnancy, and then get to experience child birth and breastfeeding. Pregnancy was certainly not the number one reason we were drawn to embryo adoption, but it was an exciting possibility after so many years of infertility. I have had years of longing to go through all the things a woman is supposed to be able to do with her body.

One thing that really helped to finalize our decision was the fact that our foster care agency graciously said they would send our newly completed homestudy to the adoption agency. This was huge because it would save us several months time as well as about $2000! It seemed that the Lord was opening the door for us to proceed with what was now becoming a pretty exciting possibility for building our family!

So, we officially began the embryo adoption process by sending in our application fee on March 18th. We then created a family profile that included a letter to the genetic family and a four page summary of who we are, including pictures. We decided right away that we want to have at least some degree of openness with the genetic family so whatever children we are blessed with will be able to have knowledge of their biological family. All the current research has shown that adopted children are better off emotionally and psychologically when they have access to this information.

It didn't take long for our homestudy to get transferred, and then all I needed was to get a document signed by my doctor stating that I can safely carry a child. Once all that was sent in, we had a matching interview with the adoption agency to make sure we would be matched with a family who fits our specific preferences. That interview was on Friday, April 25th, and by Wednesday, April 30th, we had received the information about a genetic family who had chosen us. It was astounding to see how quickly the match was made! Embryo adoption has the opposite problem that infant adoption has, and that is there are more genetic families that adoptive families, so getting matched does not take long!

We spent an evening praying about whether or not to accept the match, but there were no red flags going up in our hearts or minds, so the next morning we contacted our agency and said we would like to accept the match. Right now, we are waiting to hear more on what local clinic embryos will be shipped to. We have never worked with a fertility clinic so we are about to enter uncharted territory. It will be at least September before we can actually have our first embryo transfer done and I am unsure about what the next steps will be. Most likely there will be several preliminary medical tests required to make sure my body is good to go.