Update on the other 2 embryos

I got a call from the nurse at the clinic yesterday. She informed me that the other two embryos did not survive. I trusted those embryo babies to the Lord, knowing what happened would be good and right. Shaun and I had already decided this is our one time shot due mainly to finances but also due to my health with my recurring ovarian cysts and endometriosis. If those other two embryos had survived we would have had to let the genetic family choose another family to adopt them. Now these two embryos that are growing inside of me are the last remaining genetic children of a very selfless and generous family in Michigan. We are so thankful for the gift they have given our family and we will continue to pray that they both keep growing and thriving.

When we got home from our trip on Saturday the first thing one of the girls said was, "Did you get a baby?" I showed them both the pictures of the embryos and explained that I did get two babies but that they are teeny tiny and growing inside of my tummy. They both asked to kiss the babies in my tummy. It was a precious moment. We've been praying each night with the girls for the babies that will be in my tummy so they definitely have some concept of what is going on, but it's fun to hear it from the mouth of a three year old.

I will have my first pregnancy test next Monday, October 13th. It will be a blood test and I probably won't get the results until Tuesday. I don't want to spend the next week worrying and obsessing over every little possible symptom. I realized yesterday that this is in all likelihood the only time I will ever be pregnant so I want to enjoy each day rather than spending the beginning of the pregnancy anxious and concerned. Life will go on as usual for the next 8 days and I want to just enjoy the thought of two precious lives growing inside of me. I know for most women pregnancy is just a normal occurrance that happens sometimes without even trying, something that can be taken for granted, but for me, it is a miracle I had given up on about 4 years ago. It is strange to have hope again. It is strange to think I could be counted as one of the pregnant ones!

I am debating about whether or not to take a home pregnancy test on Sunday or not. I feel like it would just be a waste of money and I also don't want to get a false reading and either have false hope or false disappointment. What do you think? Should I do a home test or not?