Then I took my girls grocery shopping with me and they were over tired and fussy. The lady checking me out asked me how old my kids were and I said they are 3 1/2. She half smiled and replied, "That's why I only have one and one is enough." I didn't bother to tell her that I have two more on the way. As I was walking out to the car I told the girls I probably won't be taking any kids shopping with me after the babies are born. How in the world would I manage it? Unless I turn it into mommy dates with one kid at a time....that could be fun!
It has really hit me that my life is going to change dramatically when we welcome these two babies into our family. Taking four kids four and under anywhere will be challenging so I'm going to have to carefully choose what I do with my time. I really don't want to give up everything, so I hope I can do a Bible study or MOPS or something once a week. It is just hard to predict what I will be able to handle.
It was all feeling like too much and I was getting discouraged by life in the trenches with little ones. Then I sat down to read my devotional (which I had neglected to do lately so that's probably one of the reasons I was so discouraged!) and it was incredibly timely and spoke directly to my heart. Here is the last paragraph from the Daily Discipleship daily reading that gave me just what I needed that day:
A servant of Christ cannot choose his place of service, nor the type of service he will render to the Lord. God chooses both of these things. But along with God's choice, He gives us the wisdom and strength we need.
I wouldn't have chosen 2 sets of twins, or even four children, but God chose that for me and our family. I am so excited and happy about that fact, but also terrified. Will I be able to handle the tasks at hand, the sleep deprivation, the constant needs of my children, the endless meals and feedings? My service to the Lord right now is raising children who (Lord willing) will love and serve Christ with their whole hearts as they grow. I am to be faithful in that service. He will give me the wisdom and strength that I need if I am seeking Him, and in those times that I fail, there is grace- beautiful, amazing grace.
I so get the discouragement of not being the Mom I want to be at times (a lot of the time, unfortunately!) I know it's nowhere near the same, but I had fully intended that once Claire was born, I was going to be home bound for a while. I had already told people my last semester at MOPS would be the one prior to Claire's birth. Thankfully, though, I've still been able to attend MOPS and other events. Praying for encouragement for you. And, what the cashier said to you, that really kinda irked me. Don't know how you felt about it, but, yikes! It didn't sound very encouraging.
ReplyDeleteI agree Sharon. The attitude toward children and large families tends to be negative in our society and it's a shame. I know the Lord delights in children even when they can sometimes make my life more crazy and stressful! And I delight in them too!
Delete