What about the genetic family?

Have you wondered how the genetic parents are handling the news that we are expecting twins? Embryo adoption is an unusual form of adoption because the genetic parents are typically upper middle class, happily married in their late 30's or 40's, with other children already. Those traits are opposite of what you typically see in a mother choosing infant adoption. In the eyes of the law, embryo adoption doesn't actually even exist. Embryos are considered property. But, because we believe these embryos are lives from the moment of conception, we chose to work with an adoption agency who values life like we do (www.nightlight.org), and we choose to use the term embryo adoption. We will keep in regular contact with the genetic family and these children will have the opportunity to know them if they so desire in the future. It is truly adoption in that sense, not just embryo donation.

The genetic parents of the babies I am carrying have given us an incredible gift. The news that two of their genetic offspring will be born and grow up in this world without them as parents must be difficult to process. So, when my pregnancy was confirmed, I found myself wondering how they were dealing with the news. We have email contact through the adoption agency and I have agreed to keep them updated on news throughout the pregnancy because that is what they desire.

A few weeks ago I received an email from the genetic mother. She was very honest in how she's processing the news. I want to share it with you today because I think it's an important piece to the embryo adoption journey. The genetic parents have obviously played a huge role in this process and their feelings and perspective should be considered. I am glad I can get a bit of understanding into how she's doing so that I can pray for her and the whole family.

Here is what she had to say:
How exciting you are having twins. I am very happy for you but also a little bit saddened (no worries though) that I am not the one carrying those beautiful little babies. It is all good though because I know that deep down I don't have the energy to add two more little ones (especially at the same time) to our family. I am getting too old for that. So I am very, very happy that our little ones are getting the best parents that they could who will love them and care for them and cherish them as well as we would have ourselves. Those kids are going to have great lives.


In my opinion, it is pretty incredible that any mother can make the choice to allow another couple to be the parents to her child, whether at the embryonic stage or at the infant stage. I am just so thankful God has redeemed the broken things of this world and given these children a chance at life.