My new Wednesday

Last Spring I was really struggling with what my purpose in life was. One weekend, Shaun was snowboarding with a friend so I spent the day seeking the Lord. I ended up journalling about what passions God has placed within my heart. It was really neat to see all of the things I'm passionate about down on paper and realize that they all kind of blend together to make me who I am. I would recommend that activity for everyone. It helped me see who God had made me to be and it also brought back a passion of mine that had been laying dormant for several years, that of helping women who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy.

In college I felt drawn to a ministry called Hannah's Hope which is a home for women who have no safe place to live during their pregnancy. I even had the opportunity to volunteer there on several different occasions and I just loved what the ministry was able to do to help those women in their greatest time of need. Many women need just one person who supports them in order for them to choose life for their child. It is the feeling of hopelessness, fear and lack of a good support system that often leads a woman to choose abortion so ministries like Hannah's Hope are greatly needed!

So, last Spring when that passion was brought to the forfront of my heart and mind again, I knew that the Lord was calling me back to that. I filled out a volunteer application for the Sanctity of Life ministry in Colorado Springs called Life Network. Life Network has 4 primary outreaches; Crisis Pregnancy Centers, Post-Abortion counseling, Abstinence Education, and Parenting classes for teen and first time moms. This ministry is really on the front lines of the war against the sanctity of life. I was most interested in helping at the Crisis Pregnancy Center as a receptionist, but was required to go to the volunteer training before I could do that. Since we spent the summer at Eagle Lake it wasn't until last month that I did the training and now I have the privilege of volunteering for 4 hours each Wednesday at the Pregnancy Center.

It is neat to see first hand the kind of impact that the Center has. I've only been there for two weeks so far and have been able to help women and men get emergency food, diapers, and clothing for their babies when they can't afford to buy things from the store. Women have gotten ultrasounds of their tiny little babies that in turn helps them to see that they are really carrying a baby not just a lump of tissue. Women will come in for free pregnancy tests which is really cool because when they come in for a test, they receive counseling from volunteer lay counselors who can help them talk through the decision about whether or not to keep the baby. The lay counselors are trained to provide loving, non-judgemental support to the families that come through the doors and they can help the girls to see beyond the crisis to what reality truly is.

I have learned so much about what my attitude should be toward women facing this crisis and people who have experienced abortions in their past. As much as it seems like an easy decision to me, I've never been face to face with the dilemma and I've realized even more that as Christians we need to approach the topic of the sanctity of life with love, not condemnation. We need to pray for the war that is going on in this country. Millions of lives are lost each year and that grieves the heart of God and it should grieve our hearts too.

What should we hope in?

Last night I studied the topic of HOPE with the women in my Wednesday night Bible Study. It was a great discussion about a topic that I was having a hard time with. I really enjoyed the study because it caused me to take a closer look at many verses throughout the Bible that speak of hope. I knew that we are commanded to hope, but I wasn't clear about what exactly we are to hope in. Below are some of the verses that I came across that really spoke to my heart.

Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face. Job 13:15

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.  Psalm 25:1-5

A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:17-22

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:1-5

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4


Do you notice anything about these passages? I sure did as I was reading them! We are to hope in God and everything that He is; his Word, his glory, his unfailing love, his truth. That's it. So often we put our hope in circumstances and things and people, but none of those will ever be a sure hope. They will always disappoint. But God will NEVER disappoint us if we place our hope in him. What a great and awesome promise! I just want to meditate on that fact and let it soak into my heart and mind. I hope you will do the same thing today.

Wedding Reflections

On Saturday, Shaun and I had the privilege of attending the wedding of our friends and co-workers, Hanley and Katlyn. It was a beautiful outdoor ceremony that God blessed greatly with warm weather and clear skies.

The beautiful bride with her father (our big boss man!)

There is something about a wedding that always causes me to reflect upon my own marriage and wedding day over 3 years ago. On that day I married my best friend and the one who makes me laugh more than any other person. As Hanley and Katlyn said their vows I found myself thinking about the past 3 years and how well I've done in loving, honoring and obeying Shaun. We are very happily married but if I'm honest, I know I do not always to the best job of those three things. Praise God for a forgiving and grace filled husband! I am thankful everyday to be married to a man who works hard to provide for us and who loves me well, who desires for me to be a stay at home mom someday and who appreciates the time I spend at home making our house a home. I pray we will be blessed with many more years of marriage.

Here we are on our special day (June 16, 2007)

and 3 years later on our way to Hanley and Katlyn's wedding (we haven't changed much!)

Conception, Foster Care, Adoption



Life never quite works out how you envision it. Today a good friend of mine is having a baby. I desired an October baby, so sharing in their joy as they welcome their daughter is bitter sweet. I've always known and believed that ALL life is a gift from God, so even though it isn't me having the baby, I'm happy for my friends and family around me who are blessed with the gift of life. Some days it is difficult to feel happy, but I'm learning daily that happiness is not the same thing as joy, and joy is not based on circumstances. There are so many couples who struggle daily with infertility, and now I am able to better understand the pain and frustration that accompanies the struggle. Now, even if I am blessed with a biological child, I will be able to be more empathetic and understanding of women who may never have that gift.

As Shaun and I wrestle with what our future holds in regard to our family, we do not feel as though we've been given any concrete answers. God hasn't spoken clearly to us about what direction we should go at this point. We are learning to trust Him. In the process, we are also learning more about different options like adoption and foster care. We know that having our own biological children is not out of the picture because there doesn't seem to be a medical reason behind our infertility, but we also want to be open to welcoming another child into our home if that is the Lord's will for us. It seems like the idea of foster care is coming to our attention often lately, and the idea is appealing for several reasons. One of the biggest road blocks for us in regard to regular adoption would be the cost. Foster care does not cost anything and can lead to adoption if the circumstances are right. Foster care would allow us to provide love and support for a child who needs a home for a certain period of time. God commands us to care for the orphans and widows. Foster care would allow us to do that within our means. At the same time, it is not without it's risks. I know it would be difficult for me to welcome a baby or toddler into my home, only to have the child taken from me again to go live with his/her biological parents. Although attachment is a good thing, it is also a painful thing.

At this point we are not taking any further steps toward foster care or adoption, but are just continuing to seek the Lord and His will for our lives. We just wanted to share a little bit of our hearts with you today so that you can know better where we are in this whole process and how you can pray for us. In the coming months, if we are not blessed with a pregnancy, we will probably move forward with the beginning steps of building our family through foster care or adoption.

We have a permit!

We are excited to report that all of the permitting is done for the staff housing project at Eagle Lake!! Praise God! New staff housing has been a prayer request for many years because the "homes" that the full time staff have been living in during the summers are less than ideal. Over 35 years ago, four trailer homes were put on the camp property as a 10 year solution. Over the last couple of years we've demolished two of the trailers as they've reached the point of being unliveable. As more and more of the full time staff add children to their families, it is getting harder to figure out living arrangements each summer. Shaun and I had the opportunity to live in a 24 foot RV all summer because we are one of the few married couples without children yet.

As the need for more and better housing has greatly increased over the last several years, God has provided a few large donors who are willing to give hundreds of thousands of dollars to this building project. Now, work can begin on the 7-unit structure. The building will be similar to a townhome complex with loft areas that can be closed or opened depending on the size of your family. For example, since we don't have children, we will be in a one bedroom unit with a family with multiple children living beside us. That way, the family can use their loft and ours for children's bedrooms.

Now that the permits are in, construction will begin in a couple of weeks. Most of the labor will be done by several of the Eagle Lake full-time staff and other skilled workers from our sister property, Glen Eyrie. Shaun is excited to begin pounding away! We'll keep you posted with pictures as the constuction progresses.

Who Is God?

Who is God? This question has been on my heart and mind lately. It seems like everywhere I go, I am hearing some rendition of that question as it pertains to knowing Him fully. Here are some examples:

I am reading The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges with my discipler and one of the main points in that book is that we will never pursue holiness to the fullest extent until we get our focus off of ourselves and onto the God of the universe.

Shaun and I are going through Focus on the Family's The Truth Project at church and the latest lesson was on the question "Who is God". I realized again as I was watching the lesson that I do not always live my life as though I know who God is. His character is revealed for us through the scriptures and it is there that we can learn and grow in our knowledge of Him.

We recently met with the youth pastor at our church and were talking with him about how so often we read the Bible with a "me" mentality instead of a "God" mentality. For example, we read the story about David and Goliath and the lesson we draw from it is that we can do anything if we trust in God. But, if you read the story closely you realize that in 1 Samuel 17:46 David gives the reason for fighting Goliath.
" This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel."
David didn't fight for his own glory, but for the glory of God!

I know that I all too often read the Bible trying to see what is in it for me. I underline verses that make me feel good and sometimes skip over the parts that seem too difficult. I want to know God deeper and search for His character throughout His Holy Word. I want to put off my selfishness and replace it with a love for God and people. I know in my mind that everything was created to glorify God, not me, but I don't always live that way. Praise the Lord that we serve a merciful and forgiving God as well as a jealous and righteous God!