A Great Day

October 2nd is a great day. Why? Because a year ago today, we "met" our snowflake babies for the first time. They were thawed and then transferred into my womb where they grew into the little people God intended for them to be. It is still so amazing every time I think about it. Elaina is lounging on my lap right now as I type. What a sweet gift to our family. We continue to have a growing relationship through email contact with the genetic family and hopefully someday we will meet them.

Two embryos transferred a year ago, two babies now living and thriving!!!

I wonder who is who in this picture:-)

On this special anniversary, I write what will most likely be my last blog entry. I feel like we are just a normal family now, growing, and learning together. Our journey through foster care and adoption, and then embryo adoption was something I wanted to share with others, to open people's hearts and minds to the idea and to share the amazing ways the Lord was working in our family. I also hope that through sharing our journey through infertility, we were an encouragement to others experiencing the same types of sorrows and struggles.

So, goodbye blogging world. It's been fun....now onto the crazy life of raising two sets of twins!

My little snowflakes

The adoption agency we worked with to do our embryo adoption is called Nightlight Christian Adoptions, and their embryo adoption division is called Snowflakes because embryos are a lot like snowflakes...frozen, tiny, and each completely unique. They sent us these onesies as a memento. Joel and Elaina are snowflake babies #420 and 421. Pretty amazing!

On another random happy note, my big Joel boy slept through the night last night from 10-6!!! I know this probably won't happen every night from now on, but I am encouraged. Katie and Addie NEVER slept that long until we finally did some sleep training around 10 months:-)

3 months old: I am so grateful!

My babies are 3 months old today! They are interacting with us, cooing, smiling, and laughing. It's a fun stage because they don't move yet...I can set them down and they will still be there when I come back. I know that won't last much longer:-) They are settling into more of a routine now, and usually able to go down for naps awake and fall asleep with very little fussing or crying. What a blessing to have such happy and contented babes.

a quarter of a year old already and yes, Joel IS that much bigger, 

it's not just the angle of the camera

Yesterday I found myself marveling at my four kiddos. They are all a miracle and if you saw my Facebook post you know that I was feeling that way. So very grateful and thankful for my family, even on the rough days (and we had one this week). Here is a recent shot of all four kids. I can't seem to take a picture of all four without it looking like the leaning tower of children. Oh well.

The ongoing oxygen drama (and answered prayers!)

So, in my last post I didn't mention anything about the babies continued use of oxygen at night because I was hopeful that I would soon be able to report that they got the okay to come off completely.

Well, it turns out that both babies will be on oxygen only at night for at least 2 more months. It has been a frustrating journey but I feel like we've finally gotten some understanding into why this is actually necessary. For a long time it seemed like our pediatrician was just being hypervigilant and over treating our children. I am of the mindset that if my children seem healthy, then they most likely are and I don't want any interventions unless absolutely necessary.

Both Joel and Elaina have successfully passed their overnight oxygen test which is usually all that needs to happen to get the order to stop oxygen. However, our pediatrician was still concerned about some dips she saw in their oxygen levels a few times at night. So, she ordered a sleep study to be done for Elaina. We had that done on July 23rd. I took her up to Children's hospital in Denver that evening and she was hooked up to about 30 different wires. Is was a horrible experience for her. She usually sleeps like a champ at night, waking once to feed but sleeping well the rest of the night. Well, the night of the sleep study she woke up screaming every 20 minutes, she was stiff and uncomfortable, had a terrible time trying to nurse because she had this rhino horn type thing sticking down from her nose over her mouth, and then in the morning when all the wires were removed she had a big goose egg and circular red mark on her forehead where one of the electrodes was jabbing into her skull all night. I left the sleep study praying that we would never have to return.

the happy girl completely oblivious to what is about to happen

this was the end result, she was so miserable and who could blame her!

About a week later we received the results of the sleep study. The recommendation was for a pulmonary evaluation by a pediatric pulmonologist. From my knowledge of medicine as a registered nurse, the results honestly didn't seem that concerning, but my pediatrician still wanted us to see a specialist because as she said, "I am jack of all trades and not an expert in anything". She didn't know how to read the data from the sleep study and was unable to answer our detailed questions. I set up an appointment with the specialist hoping and praying that we would see a doctor who would be able to see the truth, and if my babies are fine and healthy then we would stop needing to see doctors and we wouldn't have to have a second sleep study done.

Yesterday was the appointment with the specialist. God answered my prayers in a very clear way! We saw a doctor who was very down to earth and who looked at all the information and asked us a lot of questions about what we as the parents notice about Elaina's sleep and breathing patterns. He also explained the results of the sleep study. In the end, he told us that he is the type of doctor who tends to be on the side of less interventions. He said that both Joel and Elaina are having episodes of periodic breathing  which is quite normal for babies in high altitude, and that oxygen at night is the best and only thing they can really do until they get a bit older and outgrow this issue. He explained that most likely without oxygen they would both be fine but it is better to be safe than sorry because if one of them would die of SIDS without oxygen we would always wonder if we could have prevented it simply by putting oxygen on. After his explanation, it made so much more sense to me why they should still be on oxygen. The best part of the appointment was that he agreed we do not need to do another sleep study, hallelujah! He wants to see the babies again in 2 months and indicated that if they are doing well and thriving at that time, most likely he would be okay stopping oxygen.

I left that appointment feeling like a weight had been lifted and felt like God had answered my prayers in a very clear way by allowing us to see the doctor that we did. Hopefully in 2 months I will be able to report that both babies are oxygen free at last! In all of this though, I am extremely grateful that this is the only health issue we are facing. There are lots of parents out there facing so much worse with their kiddos.

Pictures are easier these days!

Life is busy. Laundry has doubled since adding these babies and I'm starting cloth diapers this week so it's gonna triple! There is always something that needs to be done, so needless to say, blogging isn't a top priority. But, I do enjoy recording some of the highlights of our lives. Pictures are quicker and easier than typing a lot so here you go.

We took our first road trip as a family of 6 to my sister's house in Iowa. Here is Elaina with one of her cousins (he's also a twin:-)

The older girls had a blast sleeping in their oldest cousins room. She pretty much handled their bed time for us while we were there. It was so nice to have so many helping hands.

First trip to the beach (in Iowa). Looks like they are pretty comfortable.

Grandma and Papa (Shaun's parents) met the new babies for the first time in late July. Here is Grandma with all four kiddos

A smile caught on camera

Katie really loves her baby brother. She wants to help all the time with whatever we will let her do.

This shot is from today. Elaina is now 9 lbs 12 oz.

This is also from today. Joel has surpassed Elaina by quite a bit now. He weighs in at 11 lb 4 oz

oxygen

I have a moment....both older girls are playing nicely together, dinner is in the crockpot, babies are sleeping....so I thought I'd send an update across the internet waves for anyone who cares.

We are six and a half weeks into having 4 kids and it's going well. I would be so much more overwhelmed if my mom didn't live above us. She helps each and every day with all the kids whenever I need it. My biggest frustration right now is oxygen.

Both babies are still on their oxygen. They have both passed their car seat test but failed their overnight test. So, we have to wait until next week to redo that test for both of them. The doctor has given us the green light to take off Elaina's during the day when she is awake because she basically passed her overnight with the exception of one 45 minute span where her levels dropped low and stayed low. It has been nice to be free of the tubes during the day at least, but I can't wait for both babies to be completely off of oxygen! I remind myself often that I need to be thankful that they don't have any serious health problems. It could be so much worse and I realize there are parents out there dealing with problems way bigger than this.

3 weeks

Katie loves her baby sister and brother

one month (and last day in preemie clothes!)

Sleeping beauties

Mommy was away so Katie got to help feed Joel

Addie "breastfeeding" her twins (she came up with this on her own:-)

Nothing was as I'd hoped

As I reflect on the past month (crazy that on Sunday that babies will be a month old!) I realize that nothing about the birth of Joel and Elaina was as I'd hoped. I knew having twins made it much less likely that a natural birth experience would be possible, but I also never imagined it going the way that it did.

My water broke early which was totally unexpected. My doctor had even thought I'd for sure carry to term based on how things were looking. Both babies had to spend days, even weeks, in the NICU. Instead of being able to hold them right after birth and breastfeed right away, they were taken to the NICU where they were given donor breast milk with a bottle, and even eventually some formula. I was told I should not breastfeed more than once or twice a day because the babies needed to reserve their strength, so I ended up hooked to a pump for hours a day. I didn't even own a pump because I thought I'd be able to exclusively breastfeed, so we ended up renting one from the hospital.

Breastfeeding was very challenging because of the NICU environment: no privacy, babies hooked up to multiple tubes/wires, my inexperience causing awkward clumsiness, and various nurses/lactation consultants giving me conflicting information. And last but not least, both babies coming home on oxygen which has really limited what we are able to do. They are both attached to a 25 foot tube which gives me about 50 feet of mobility with them during the day. It has caused much frustration and even some tears on my part because I don't want to miss out on summer fun with the older girls because of these darn oxygen tubes!

But, even with all of those unexpected difficulties, we are doing well. I am so thrilled to report that we have gotten to the place where both babies are exclusively tandem breastfeeding. No more pumping/bottles unless necessary because we are going out somewhere! Can I get an AMEN! After the past few weeks I have so much respect for women who choose to pump because for whatever reason they are unable to breastfeed. I can't imagine doing that for months or even a year like some women do. It is a sacrifice and commitment that is really remarkable.

Both babies are also gaining weight really well. Last week Elaina was 5 lb 15 oz and Joel was 5 lb 5 oz. They are both growing out of their preemie clothes and moving onto newborn one outfit at a time. We are so thankful to have good little eaters because with Katie and Addie it was always a struggle to get them to drink their bottles. We don't have that problem with these two. I have a feeling they will be little chunkers before we know it.

So, things may not have gone my way, but God is still good. He has been with us each tiring day and night, and we are so thankful for these two sweet souls who have been added to our family.

Here are a few fun pictures to leave you with....

 Addie and Elaina getting to know eachother on her first day home

 So tiny and sweet

Showing off their blankets made by Oma

The past 2 weeks in pictures

My water broke at 35 weeks 3 days. Here I am at the hospital, knowing it wouldn't be long before we'd meet our babies!

Meeting Joel and Elaina for the first time

Joel says "Hi" from the NICU

so does Elaina :-)

The day I got discharged was bittersweet. Very hard to leave my babies behind but also knew it was definitely for the best.

Big sisters and Oma and Opa meet the twins for the first time

Homecoming number one with Elaina on Sunday May 31st

Homecoming number two with Joel on Wednesday June 3rd. So thankful to have my family all together under one roof and to no longer be making multiple hospital trips every day.

This is from today after working on tandem nursing. Babies are 2 weeks old. I am content (and sometimes a bit overwhelmed!)

8 days old

Whew, what a week it has been! My water broke quite unexpectedly last Thursday morning at 2 AM. I was 35 weeks 3 days. We headed into the hospital knowing that our babies would soon be arriving. Elaina Margaret and Joel Robert were born at 5:02 and 5:04 AM on May 21st via c-section. What a joy to hear their vigorous cries as the doctor pulled them from my belly.

Elaina weighed 4 lb 8 oz and Joel weighed 4 lb 6 oz. She was also 3/4 inch taller than him which probably accounts for those 2 extra ounces. They were taken right to the NICU for the mandatory 12 hour watch required for all babies born before 37 weeks. At first it seemed like they were doing really well, and after 24 hours were allowed to room in with me. Shaun and I had the privilege of being their primary caretakers for 2 full days before our tiny babies just couldn't do it all on their own anymore. Their temperatures were not staying stable, they weren't eating enough, Joel had unstable blood sugars, and Elaina needed oxygen. All of these things are very normal for babies born at 35 weeks, but when it is your own children struggling it is tough.

So, back to the NICU they went on Sunday morning. I was an emotional wreck, crying every 5 minutes, feeling guilty for not keeping my babies safe inside me for a bit longer, desperately wanting a "normal" birth and postpartum experience, but knowing that going back to the NICU was definitely the best thing for E and J until they were stronger. Feeding tubes were put in place for both of them, they were put under heat, and Elaina was put on oxygen.

The past 6 days have been busy as I was discharged on Monday and we are back and forth to the NICU twice a day. Thankfully, both kiddos have been making great progess. It looks like Elaina may be discharged on Sunday and Joel will probably be a couple more days because he isn't eating as well as she is. I really don't like the thought of them coming home at different times, but there isn't much I can do about that except pray.

I will post pictures later as uploading isn't working at the moment.

I might have preeclampsia

Over the past few weeks my blood pressure has been rising at each appointment. Then seemingly overnight my feet swelled up and the swelling hasn't really gone away. I also gained 5 pounds in one week from weeks 33-34. None of that was worrying my doctor until yesterday at my 35 week appointment.

This past week I started having mild headaches off and on throughout the day and yesterday my blood pressure was 140/100. My doctor ordered some blood work and today some of the results came back elevated. So, now I get to do a 24 hour urine collection to check for protein in my urine. If those results come back elevated then we will be having these babies soon, possibly as soon as Friday!

Yesterday I signed the paperwork for a scheduled c-section on June 8th but now it seems we might have May babies. Honestly, with all of my symptoms, I would be really surprised if I DON'T have protein in my urine. Time will tell, and until then, we would appreciate your prayers for continued safety for babies and myself. We want what is best and if that means Joel and Elaina being born at 35 1/2 weeks then that's what we will do.

Feeling thankful at 35 weeks

Instead of listing off all the ways I feel miserable and ready for this pregnancy to be done, I was lying in bed early one morning this week and listing off in my head all the things I have to be thankful for at this stage. I want to continue to remain positive so here the top 10 things I am thankful for at 35 weeks pregnant with twins (in no particular order):

1) I don't have any rib or hip pain
2) I honestly thought I would be way bigger by now, but I'm not and that fact enables me to remain pretty mobile and active.
3) I can still get down on the floor and play with my girls
4) No stretch marks (apparently I have genetics or my homemade body butter to thank for that, maybe a combination of both?)
5) I can still roll over pretty easily in bed
6) I have not had any big pregnancy scares like bleeding, real preterm labor, or terrible illness
7) I can still hold my girls and they love to use my belly as a pillow:-)
8) My husband still calls me beautiful
9) My swollen feet don't really cause any discomfort and my shoes still fit
10) Both babies continue to get great reports at each appointment

36 weeks, which is our goal, is just around the corner. Can't wait to be there and know that the chance of babies needing NICU time by that point is pretty slim. I leave you with a few pictures we took today on our wonderfully lazy Sunday.

 I finally got one decent picture of Shaun and I with the belly before church today

 Addie enjoying Mommy's built in pillow

Yikes! Cankles!

34 weeks

34 weeks today, yippee! It's an important milestone for twins and I am so relieved to have made it this far with very few problems. I feel like I've had a pretty easy twin pregnancy up to this point and I hope that continues until these babies are born. My least favorite pregnancy symptom right now is lots of swelling in my ankles and feet. It has really gotten worse this past week, but I guess that's normal right?

Today at the doctor Elaina weighed in at 5 lb 0 oz and Joel at 5 lb 4 oz. He's been behind his sister the entire time but must have just gone through a growth spurt. I was really surprised at how big they are and was expecting their weights to be closer to 4.5 lbs each. It's good to know they are healthy and big!

Sadly, they are still in the same breech/transverse position and seem very content to stay there. My doctor talked for the first time about scheduling a c-section since they most likely won't be moving to a head down position in the next 4 weeks. I have accepted that fact and feel good about it because I prayed every day for months for them to be head down. I trust the Lord and His full knowledge of these babies and what is best.

We don't have anything scheduled yet, but somewhere around 38 weeks I will most likely be having these babies. Things are going so well with healthy babies and healthy mama that my doctor commented today that she predicts they won't be making their entrance into the world until we force them out. So, the week of June 8th sometime we will probably be meeting our little ones. FOUR MORE WEEKS!

34 weeks and feeling good

It's May....what?!

Months ago I wrote a post about how my goal is to make it to May 25th because that is 36 weeks. I can't believe it's already May. On Monday I will be 33 weeks which means it's only 3 weeks until my goal! Actually, ideally I will make it to June 1st because 37 weeks is considered full term by most doctors for twins. Statistically, twins are born at 35 weeks on average but I am feeling confident that if I continue to take it easy then I can keep these babies in for many more weeks. I notice a huge difference in the amount of contractions and back pain I feel when I am sitting and laying around a lot and minimizing the amount of housework I do.

It isn't hard to say no to the housework, but I do have some mommy guilt over the fact that my girls are left to their own devices most of the day as they play together and I am unable to be an active participant in most of their activities. Thankfully, they do a great job entertaining themselves most of the time and it makes me so appreciative that they have each other. I can't even walk down our long driveway and back so that they can ride their bikes. Playgrounds are too difficult to manage because if they start heading in two different directions or need help getting lifted up onto something, I can't physically manage it. So, we are at home most days and the minutes and hours can sometimes tick very slowly by. Shaun reminds me that it's only for a few more weeks. I am so thankful for that! I really don't mean to complain, just letting you know how it has been for me in these last few weeks. I am willing to do anything to make sure these babies stay safe and healthy until they are ready to be born and I think Katie and Addie understand that to some degree.

My goal was to get all my baby prep work out of the way by May and I've pretty much succeeded. Last week I made four freezer crock pot meals and completed the nursery decorations. Shaun will have to set up the second crib in our bedroom at some point in the next few weeks, but we are putting it up against my side of the bed like a co-sleeper, so setting it up now would just make it more difficult for me to get in and out of bed. And trust me, I am already having a hard enough time with that! The hospital bag is partially packed and today I plan on making a few batches of freezer waffles to complete my freezer meal prep. Things are starting to get REAL!

 I think Addie likes my pregnancy pillow a whole lot more than I do. I have a love/hate relationship with sleep right now:-)

32 weeks- I wonder daily how much bigger I will get over the next few weeks!

Hospital visit #1

Yesterday I felt off all day. I tried to lay down and rest a lot but no matter how much I did so, I would get up and feel like I needed to lay back down. I was also having fairly frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions which has become a normal thing with two babies stretching my uterus to capacity.

Shaun and I left for our small group at 7 PM and I started wondering if the contractions were coming at regular intervals. I started timing them as soon as we sat down at small group and for the next hour and a half I had contractions about every 8 minutes. They weren't painful but my doctor had instructed me to go ahead and get checked out at the hospital if I ever noticed them coming at regular intervals. I have never had a baby before so I figured it would be best to be safe than sorry. I have read too many stories of twin pregnancies going into preterm labor and the woman not realizing it because she had painless contractions or she just felt off and by then it was too late to stop them and the babies had to be born.

So, after small group we headed to the hospital. I was strapped to an external fetal monitor and spent the next 3 hours waiting to find out what was going on. As I rested and drank more water the contractions started to subside. The nurse called the person on call at my doctor's office who ordered a bunch of tests to rule out any infections, which can sometimes cause contractions and preterm labor. Everything came back negative so by midnight I was released to go home.

Right now I am sitting in bed writing this and will need to call my doctor when they open to get specific instructions about any precautions she will want me on. I feel better this morning and have had very few contractions. I will be better from now on about resting and letting my mom or Shaun do things for me. It's just hard with 2 four year olds who need things from me all day long. I hope and pray I won't end up on bedrest. How does someone with young children manage that? I really can't comprehend it.

For now I am just very thankful that it was a false alarm. Only 5 -6 more weeks of this take it easy business and hopefully I won't have any more hospital visits until delivery day!

Come on babies!

Everything looked great at my 31 week appointment yesterday. Everything except the fact that Elaina is still breech and Joel is still transverse. They are making what looks like a "T" in my belly with Joel lying on top of his sister like the top of the T. I have read encouraging stories online of twins turning at this late stage but it's not guaranteed. Come on babies!

Elaina measured 3 lb 9 oz and Joel is catching up to her at 3 lb 8 oz. My doctor is really pleased with everything so far. We went over our birth plan with her yesterday and can I just say that I love my OB! One of my points on there is that I strongly hope to avoid a C-section. She emphasized that she strongly hopes to avoid a C-section too. She had no issues with anything we desire which I am so happy and relieved about. It means she really does support a natural birth and will do everything she can to help make that happen. At this point, all our desires for a natural birth really do depend on the position the babies are in. We will be playing it by ear as the big day draws near. If they are both head down when I am in labor she will even allow a delivery in the normal room, rather than making me go to the OR for delivery. Twins is certainly a more complicated situation when it comes to labor and delivery but ultimately I wouldn't change it. Whatever it takes to get these babies and I through it safely is what I care the most about.

Now we are down to a few big milestones....
-32 weeks will mean that I can deliver at Memorial North rather than having to be transferred to Memorial Central
-34 weeks means that they won't need to use steroids on babies.
-37 weeks means full term and most likely no risk of spending any time in the NICU

Woohoo! Just writing all of that makes me realize how quickly these weeks are going to go

The countdown is on!

Yesterday marked 30 weeks. I feel like at this point the countdown is really on. Hopefully it will be at least 7 more weeks until we meet these babes, but maybe it will be 10.....oh, how I hope it's closer to 7!!

Yesterday also marked the start of weekly doctors appointments and ultrasounds. I will be going every Monday until I go into labor or a c-section is scheduled. At this point Elaina has been stubbornly in the breech position for a month straight and she is baby A, so if she doesn't turn head down I will be stuck with a c-section. I am praying daily that she will turn but at the same time I don't want to end up with a vaginal delivery for Elaina and an emergency c-section for Joel, which can happen with twins. So, if I have to have a c-section I'd rather go into it knowing that is what will happen for both babies. Ultimately, I know God is in control of the outcome and I don't need to worry. I feel well prepared and very hopeful for a vaginal delivery but yet I am also realistic that it may not happen.

I have started having pretty frequent braxton-hicks contractions that I can tell come more often when I am trying to do too much. I am learning to ask for help a lot more and being okay with sitting down with my feet up as much as possible throughout the day because I don't want to go into premature labor. I am so thankful my mom lives on the same property as us because she helps with laundry and takes the girls often. I can tell the girls are getting used to lazy mommy because they don't bother me nearly as much as they used to when I am just laying on the couch. I love that they play together so well and have each other. Here is a sweet scene from yesterday that I caught on camera.

 And here I am at 30 weeks for those of you who like to see the belly shots.

Great family pictures just don't happen anymore

I bribed the girls this morning, telling them they could get a fruit snack to eat on the way to church if they would smile for the camera. We haven't gotten a good family picture since August (that's the one you see on the top of this blog:-). Somehow we all always end up looking awkward, but oh well.

Happy Easter! Today in church they had 2 baptisms, one planned and one spontaneous. I found myself tearing up as I thought about the hope of one day witnessing my own children's baptisms. What a glorious celebration that will be!

Other than the sun on Shaun's head, this one is the best. Both girls smiling nicely at the camera is quite the accomplishment!

My four kids and me. Happy to get one decent picture with the girls and my pregnant belly. They are so excited about being big sisters.

On another note, I am 29 weeks tomorrow. Katie and Addie were born at 29 weeks. We didn't meet them until they were four months old, but we are so thankful they are thriving and healthy. Let's just hope these two new babies keep cooking for a while longer though!

3D ultrasound and XL t-shirts

I am 28 weeks 1 day today. Last week marked a milestone of moving from wearing medium t-shirts to raiding my dad's closet for XL! Way more comfortable but not very flattering. I am opting for comfort at this point.

Yesterday we had a chance to view our babies again on a 3D ultrasound. We had been warned that usually with twins only one baby cooperates, which is exactly what happened. We were able to get a few good shots of Elaina's face, but Joel was facing the wrong direction. Luckily, at my appointment with maternal fetal medicine 2 weeks ago, the exact opposite happened and we got a few good 3D shots of him then.

Stats as of yesterday on all 3 of us:
Elaina measured in at 2 lb. 9 oz, Joel just under that at 2 lb. 7 oz. They both gained exactly a pound in 4 weeks. It's hard to believe I am carrying 5 pounds of baby, but somehow they are squished in there!

I have now gained 35 pounds. I am happy with that and try not to concern myself with the scale. I know it's for the best and I figure I am well on my way to a 50 pound weight gain at least:-)

 Elaina waving "hi"

Joel just chillin'

Welcome third trimester

I have made it two thirds of the way. Time is flying by and I'm trying to remind myself that I need to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I can each day. I am getting really excited to meet these babies! They are big enough now that I can pretty much always feel some body part or another poking me or pressing against the outside of my uterus. There are too many body parts to really distinguish what is what and who is who though. The past few days have also brought some painful jabs and kicks. Before this it was never painful or uncomfortable so they are obviously getting stronger:-)

On another note, I recently came across this blog post about embryo adoption: 

http://www.theaaronwilson.com/9000-people-you-didnt-know-existed/

It answers some of the most common questions a Christian may have about this form of adoption. It has some excellent info that Shaun and I agree wholeheartedly with and it really speaks to the reasons why we chose embryo adoption as the way to build our family and why the author of the blog has chosen it too.