No faces but still adorable

Finally, a new picture of the girls that we can post on our blog! They are still considered foster children until the official adoption takes place, so we can't show their faces. Aren't they still adorable though:-) This was taken yesterday and about 3 minutes before the shot, we taught the girls how to hold hands. They cooperated pretty well for being 18 months old!

How can I feel so happy yet so sad at the same time?

Yesterday the judge terminated the parental rights for both of the birthparents. It was another very long day in court listening to testimony that continued to point out the fact that bio mom is not capable of showing empathy, nurturing, and love to her children. Much of her deficiency is due to her tragic past filled with trauma that she has not dealt with. It is a very sad fact that her upbringing rendered her an unfit parent to all 5 of her biological children. She continues to make bad choices in relationships and is in a very dark place.

When the judge spoke the verdict yesterday afternoon, my heart was pounding. I was squeezing Shaun's hand and hoping and praying that the Lord would rescue our sweet girls from the grip of the same childhood that their biological mom had had. I was so utterly relieved, joyful, and thrilled that we would not ever have to say goodbye to K and A only to have them returned to a very unfit parent. At the same time, I was filled with empathy and compassion for this 24 year old woman who had just had her 4th and 5th children permanently removed from her care. I was struck by how the world is really messed up- how our sin has ruined the family structure in so many ways. I am so grateful for a God who can redeem and bring good out of even the most ugly circumstances, but the extent of human suffering overwhelms me sometimes. Shaun and I will continue to pray for the twins' biological parents. They are both in very dark places. Only when they figure out that Jesus Christ is their hope in this world will anything ever really be able to change.

and it continues....

After a very long day in court today we left with no concrete answers because there was not time to finish all of the testimonies. The judge postponed the remainder of the hearing until Thursday morning saying that we will for sure be done by noon on Thursday.
The most remarkable thing about today was that Shaun and I were both covered in an amazing peace. A few people told me that they couldn't believe how calm and peaceful I seemed to be. After a very emotional and trying 14 months, it was truly a gift from the Lord to have that peace today. In fact, I have been experiencing that peace for the past several weeks and it has been such a blessing.
The hearing today left us mostly feeling encouraged although it was very difficult to sit there and listen to all the witnesses testifying. Our hearts feel a lot of sadness for the situation that the birthmom is in and although we do not believe the twins should ever go back to her because she is not in a healthy place, we feel a lot of compassion for her as a child of God. She is in a very dark place and has had an incredibly difficult life until now. It is sad to see how the patterns of her childhood are now being repeated in her life and the lives of her older children. We only hope and pray that the twins are saved from that cycle of destruction and are able to stay with us forever where they can learn about how much their Heavenly Father loves and cares for them and where we can continue to love, protect, and nurture them as they grow.

Down to the Wire

In exactly 5 days from now we will be sitting in a courtroom for the termination hearing that will determine whether or not the birthmother's rights will end that day. We are very relieved that the end is most likely near. If the judge rules in favor of termination that means we will be done with visits, done with having to get birthmom's permission to take the girls anywhere, done with so much of the emotional turmoil involved with foster care. We are trusting that God has brought us this far for a reason and we feel very secure in what the verdict will be on Monday. If termination happens there is a chance that she will appeal the decision which means we would have to wait several months before we could get an adoption date, and we are anticipating that she will appeal because it seems like most birthparents do. The good thing is that even if she appeals, visits will still be done and we can begin to enjoy like without the constant reminders of foster care.

Please pray with us for Monday. Pray specifically for wisdom for the judge, for clarity of speech for all the witnesses testifying, for comfort for the birthmother if her right's are terminated, for strength for us as we sit through hours of testimony. We will let you know how things went and we hope and pray we will have good news to share!